Category Archives: Idle Chatter

We Signed Who? Blowing Bubbles Fanzine Season 2 Issue 1 August 2013

We Signed Who?

I’m forever blowing bubbles,

Pretty bubbles in the air,

They fly so high,

Nearly reach the sky,

Then like my dreams,

They fade and die.

Fortune’s always hiding,

I’ve looked everywhere,

I’m forever blowing bubbles,

Pretty bubbles in the air.

The words to our club anthem have never been so apt, when I look at what Big Sam and the rest of the West Ham United Board did during this off season.

Here’s a list of the players arriving at Upton Park for this season’s campaign:

Andy Carroll,  £17.5 million for a striker that has yet to prove that he can stay healthy for longer than a month, never mind an entire season.

Razvan Rat, a free transfer for the captain of the Romanian National Team, who is 32 years of age.
There is no doubt that he will bring plenty of experience to the Hammers defense, however at 5’ 8”, he will not be dominating at set pieces.

Adrian, a goalkeeper who comes from Real Betis on a free transfer. Personally I think he will challenge Jaaskelainen for the starting spot,
even though Jaaskelainen finished last season strongly, he let in some awful goals.

Danny Whitehead from Conference North side Stockport County after he was recommended by Dietmar Hamann.
I think Big Sam best summed this up, when he said “Danny is very slight, which we’ll work on, but the question is can we create that potential into a Premier League player?”

Everyone was very happy when Carroll signed, and it seemed to be a really positive sign that the club was willing to spend money.
Unfortunately, since then the checkbook has remained firmly closed. Here are just some players that have moved in the last couple of months, and the fee involved:

Forward Clint Dempsey £6 million
Defender Steven Caulker £8 million
Defender Jordi £2.5 million
Defender Erik Pieters £3 million
Defender Dejan Lovren £8.5 million
Midfielder Etienne Capoue £9 million
Forward Carlos Tevez £12 million
Forward  Iago Aspas for £7 million

Now, I did not expect West Ham to spend the £50+ million to secure all these players, but let’s be extravagant and spend £20 -£25 million.
Now pick and choose until you reach that number, and let’s see how much better the squad would be. I understand that signing multiple means that weekly wages need to be negotiated. So, how much did West Ham receive from the Premier League for the 2013/13 season?

That would be £48,746,943, yes close to FORTY NINE MILLION POUNDS.

This amount is reached by combining revenue for the following (rounded up) –

Equal Share £14 million
Facilities Fees £6 million
Merit Payment £10 million
Overseas TV £19 million

And that Overseas money will only continue to rise and rise and rise. I know for a fact that NBC here in the States recently agreed to pay $250 million,
starting this year until the end of the 2016 season, which is a revenue record for football!
This much is certain, the money given to teams by the Premier League will ONLY increase.

Even if I ignore the £49 million elephant in the corner, why have West Ham not even considered any of these players, that all received a Free Transfer, and at least four will be playing in the Premier League this season –

Forward Roque Santa Cruz
Defender Marc Muniesa
Forward Nicolas Anelka
Defender Kolo Toure
Midfielder Andrey Ashavin
Midfielder Florent Malouda

I’m sure that the company line would be, “well we’re not sure that they would fit into our style or team concept” – never mind that all of these players are better than what we are starting the season with.

The goal should be to improve and to compete for a spot in Europe, yet I feel that with the squad as it stands on August 8th,
we will be battling to stay in the 12 – 17 position range. Our lack of team speed was very evident last season, and we have done nothing to improve this.

When I look at other Premier League teams who we will be battling and fighting for points along with us, I see this –
Swansea brought in 8 players, spent £23 million
Sunderland brought in 8 players, spent £18 million
Fulham brought in 7 players, spent £7 million
Newcastle brought in 1 player, spent £2 million
Norwich brought in 8 players, spent £29 million
Stoke brought in 2 players, spent £4 million
Aston Villa brought in 6 players, spent  £13 million
West Brom brought in 2 players, spent £0

As a West Ham fan, I live with the realization that we cannot ever hope to compete with Arsenal, Spurs and Chelsea, who are in our own backyard.
But now I have to watch Norwich, Swansea and Sunderland, spend more money than us. To me that is embarrassing.

The Premier League starts in 9 days.


Unfinished Lament

Can you face the pressure
Welcome the fragrance
A gift from the flowers
Pleasantly distracting you
Trying to shut out the noise
And the smell
From the World

Turning away
From a moment of victory
Or is this capitulation
Wrapped up and placed
Delicately under the Christmas Tree

Rather an expression of defiance
Accepting of nothing
Yet blending,
Embracing almost
An environment
As a tear trickles

The silent majority
Like an earthquake
Rattles foundations
Oh can these masses
Rise together

Oh shameful Courtesans
Sidle up close
Alongside our conscience
And whisper
Reassuring lies
As we return to our slumber.

A moment lost.

Is This?

How it was supposed to be when I dream you?
Fleeting glimpses of you
Jostled as I try to beak free of the crowd
Children knowingly smile at me
As I politely avoid their punitive obstacles
You, sweetly smiling from above
Trapping me underneath
As we drift towards ecstasy.
Licking salty lips in unison
As your hips dictate our distance
And those beautiful eyes burn the desire into my core.
Sweet sounds drift into nooks and crannies that come alive for you.
I want you to last forever
Tears flowing
As our rhythmic embrace shudders
To its cascading climax.
Look at me!
I bleed, I sweat, I ache, I am spent.
Is this……….?

Dashed Superhero

Trying to be invisible doesn’t work
No matter how hard I shut my eyes.
No matter that my stomach is in knots
So uncomfortable that I want to scream.
Sympathy is not on the menu this morning,
Just a hard bagel that mocks me as I try to cut it.
Silent muttering pounds inside my head
As I glance behind.
Where’s the “fuck it” attitude?
My white flag has been hoisted. Defeated.
The line is growing and so is the  impatience.
The slow painful march to begin the day has begun.

Lightening Strikes!

She came like a lightening strike on a warm sultry evening

An unexpected moment which shook my insides and made me wonder what I was doing – what I had done before

Confused like a child in a world that is too big and never stops moving

Trying to catch my breath trying to remember what I was

Laughter and excitement and butterflies moving so quickly inside my stomach

Allowing only emotion to guide my thoughts and actions

Like a first crush at school
Like climbing under freshly washed sheets
Like wanting forever.